Where do I even begin? I’ve been meaning to someday talk about this topic for a really long time, every few months from a different angle. I could start by talking about how just short of a few weeks ago, I was terrified because I thought my mom died in a church bombing. Or maybe I could write about the first time I felt like I was genuinely and completely part of a community. Perhaps I could dwell on how I easily surpassed my life long identity crisis by just understanding more about my beautiful culture and heritage. It does seem like we will have to drop by all these important milestones to get to the big picture so here it goes..
It’s turned into a norm to find posts or videos with someone writing a ‘letter’ to their younger selves with words of advice and narratives based on the experiences they had after their youth. It always for nostalgia and a look back at how far one has come from past difficulties that once consumed every single thing, all while inspiring and encouraging an audience. I can only imagine that if I had written a letter like that more than a year ago, it would have been rather harsh. I’ve spent most of my life being ridiculously hard on myself and my previous decisions that I thought a slight change of positvity was in order.
What a year, what a year. So much has happened with me in such a short time, both marvelous and dreadful. On the flight back home, lack of sleep made me end up staying awake, listening to Frank Sinatra and staring at a gorgeous scene of abundant stars. I think that’s when I realized that I had such a very lovely time all year round, it’s just easier to get sucked into your problems in the moment. You can never just have adventure without a few bumps that you learn from and to showcase this, here are my wins and fails of the past year:
People are constantly walking in and out of your life all through out. How many times have you thought someone was going to always be there for you through thick and thin? Thought they would be by your side through life for a relatively long time? Thought they understood you the most out of everyone you knew around? Only to look back at the past and remember how different your impression once was. Unfortunately, I would say that almost everyone has had a surprising revelation that someone wasn’t who they thought they were, leading to disappointment and a lot of thinking needed be done.
This post is a lot harder for me to write than I thought because of the recent issues that I’ve been facing. As a new university student, there’s just been so much going on with me as a person and surroundings. Decisions have to be constantly made in regard to how I manage my time, energy, money, and relationships. The latter, unsurprisingly, has been the most difficult to handle and has brought me the most unease and stress. Continue reading “The Ones We Let Go of”