Where do I even begin? I’ve been meaning to someday talk about this topic for a really long time, every few months from a different angle. I could start by talking about how just short of a few weeks ago, I was terrified because I thought my mom died in a church bombing. Or maybe I could write about the first time I felt like I was genuinely and completely part of a community. Perhaps I could dwell on how I easily surpassed my life long identity crisis by just understanding more about my beautiful culture and heritage. It does seem like we will have to drop by all these important milestones to get to the big picture so here it goes..
It’s turned into a norm to find posts or videos with someone writing a ‘letter’ to their younger selves with words of advice and narratives based on the experiences they had after their youth. It always for nostalgia and a look back at how far one has come from past difficulties that once consumed every single thing, all while inspiring and encouraging an audience. I can only imagine that if I had written a letter like that more than a year ago, it would have been rather harsh. I’ve spent most of my life being ridiculously hard on myself and my previous decisions that I thought a slight change of positvity was in order.
What a year, what a year. So much has happened with me in such a short time, both marvelous and dreadful. On the flight back home, lack of sleep made me end up staying awake, listening to Frank Sinatra and staring at a gorgeous scene of abundant stars. I think that’s when I realized that I had such a very lovely time all year round, it’s just easier to get sucked into your problems in the moment. You can never just have adventure without a few bumps that you learn from and to showcase this, here are my wins and fails of the past year:
I really savour writing about my travels on my blog, it’s like clasping a memory very tightly and having the ability to release it along with a sparkle of nostalgia whenever I please. That being said, I’ve been extremely sentimental recently about a specific trip I had about a year ago. At the end of March last year back in high school, several students with chaperons and I headed out to Dublin, Ireland to represent our school at a Model United Nations conference. It’s by far one of my favorite weeks ever and I constantly remember it with a smile. I just knew I was going to have a wonderful time in Ireland when I had an entire conversation with the Irish Customs Man and he said: “So, you’re going to solve the world’s problems, eh? You go girl!”
“We don’t make mistakes, just happy little accidents.”
― Bob Ross
We can be pretty hard on ourselves, can’t we? I’m not sure why but in an essence, I think it’s because of how society functions. You’ll be told that no one is perfect and that’s exactly how it should be. But then again, it’s still perfection-obsessed whether we like it or not and a lot of the time, people are identified for something they’ve done wrong. Let’s admit it, mistakes make for juicer gossip sessions. Having a misstep can be an agonizing experience for a lot of us but if you know about me and my blog, you know I prefer changing perspective.
“How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” – Winnie the Pooh
I’ve had the best feeling in the whole world for a while now. It’s really hard to put into words. It’s like I have so much happiness that it’s all going to burst out of my chest, it’s almost painful to contain. I think of this feeling like the calm after a storm, I’ve had a tough few weeks emotionally and looking back, there’s so much that I’m blessed to have. Today, I wanted to write about my friends, an aspect of my life I haven’t truly reflected on until only recently.
Continue reading “The Gift of a Friend”
Ironically enough, ever since my last guide about decreasing your anxiety, I’ve been somewhat of a mess. Anxiety took over with my exams right around the corner and the desperation of passing with an overall great percentage. My social interactions this month have also taken a big toll on me and I was actually awoken, in a terrifying manner, by sheer panic one night. I was so proud to say that I didn’t get any severe panic attacks for months but being in a new place completely different from your own mixed with university stress can really get your anxiety going.
Overall, my first semester abroad has been quite the odd one but more on that later. Other than that, it has been an extremely rewarding experience. I’ve learned so much about myself and the world around me in a pretty short time, especially in regard to my unease and fears. Today, I hope to once again share my knowledge with you in order to help others through my blog. Whether you have anxiety or not, these tips should help you regardless.
When I think of women, I visualize people who can relate to my problems and concerns, a community of individuals who understand each other and are allies. When I think of women, I imagine independent and powerful individuals who can do anything they set their mind to with their great dedication and hard work. When I think of women, I also, sadly, recall gossip that’s been said about me or drama that I’ve been through.
As previously mentioned on my blog, girl-on-girl hate is something I’ve been through before and we can all agree that a lot of us have suffered through a similar experience at school, university, or work regardless of age or nationality. The way we treat each can be extremely awful and the fact that we can’t help it is pretty disheartening.
“One of the reasons has actually been because a girl’s primary language consists of drama, no matter where you are in the world. This typically arises at the end of middle school and happens to stick with the species for the continuation of their lifetime, leading to crying, gossip, and the never ending desire to be sassy.” – Basant She in The Ones We Let Go of
After a lot of thinking about what I wanted to be my last post for the year, I thought it would only be fair if the post was about gratitude. After all, 2015 has been extremely good to me and I cannot be more thankful for all the happiness and laughter. So, after seeing that a few other bloggers were writing down gratitude lists for the year, I decided to join them as well.
I’ve always been confused with being an Egyptian. I’ve never actually lived there, apart from visiting my grandparents almost every summer. I would then go back to what I call my actual home, Saudi Arabia. An Egyptian who has lived in Saudi Arabia all her life while acting rather American can be a perplexing case to live with at times. This has honestly caused me quite a large amount of confusion in regard to who I am and my identity while growing up. Sure, I am an Egyptian but I only ever thought of it as a vacation spot due to the nature and timings of my trips there and to be honest, it was usually a vacation spot I didn’t like very much.
I think I tend to puzzle the people around just as much as myself with this identity issue. When I was telling my German friend I was going to be returning home during February, she questioned what home I was referring to.