Where do I even begin? I’ve been meaning to someday talk about this topic for a really long time, every few months from a different angle. I could start by talking about how just short of a few weeks ago, I was terrified because I thought my mom died in a church bombing. Or maybe I could write about the first time I felt like I was genuinely and completely part of a community. Perhaps I could dwell on how I easily surpassed my life long identity crisis by just understanding more about my beautiful culture and heritage. It does seem like we will have to drop by all these important milestones to get to the big picture so here it goes..
It’s turned into a norm to find posts or videos with someone writing a ‘letter’ to their younger selves with words of advice and narratives based on the experiences they had after their youth. It always for nostalgia and a look back at how far one has come from past difficulties that once consumed every single thing, all while inspiring and encouraging an audience. I can only imagine that if I had written a letter like that more than a year ago, it would have been rather harsh. I’ve spent most of my life being ridiculously hard on myself and my previous decisions that I thought a slight change of positvity was in order.
What a year, what a year. So much has happened with me in such a short time, both marvelous and dreadful. On the flight back home, lack of sleep made me end up staying awake, listening to Frank Sinatra and staring at a gorgeous scene of abundant stars. I think that’s when I realized that I had such a very lovely time all year round, it’s just easier to get sucked into your problems in the moment. You can never just have adventure without a few bumps that you learn from and to showcase this, here are my wins and fails of the past year:
I really savour writing about my travels on my blog, it’s like clasping a memory very tightly and having the ability to release it along with a sparkle of nostalgia whenever I please. That being said, I’ve been extremely sentimental recently about a specific trip I had about a year ago. At the end of March last year back in high school, several students with chaperons and I headed out to Dublin, Ireland to represent our school at a Model United Nations conference. It’s by far one of my favorite weeks ever and I constantly remember it with a smile. I just knew I was going to have a wonderful time in Ireland when I had an entire conversation with the Irish Customs Man and he said: “So, you’re going to solve the world’s problems, eh? You go girl!”
Blessings and Hilarity Ensue
My anxiety over the course of the last semester really had me clinging to my comfort zone in many ways. I spent most of it in my cozy room, happy with the constant peace. Shortly after, my serenity was put to a quick halt, causing me to realize I was using it as a shield and not experiencing enough of the world around me. It’s funny, I’m quite different than the person I was upon my arrival to Germany, it’s lovely how pushing yourself can really change everything.
“We don’t make mistakes, just happy little accidents.”
― Bob Ross
We can be pretty hard on ourselves, can’t we? I’m not sure why but in an essence, I think it’s because of how society functions. You’ll be told that no one is perfect and that’s exactly how it should be. But then again, it’s still perfection-obsessed whether we like it or not and a lot of the time, people are identified for something they’ve done wrong. Let’s admit it, mistakes make for juicer gossip sessions. Having a misstep can be an agonizing experience for a lot of us but if you know about me and my blog, you know I prefer changing perspective.
“How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” – Winnie the Pooh
I’ve had the best feeling in the whole world for a while now. It’s really hard to put into words. It’s like I have so much happiness that it’s all going to burst out of my chest, it’s almost painful to contain. I think of this feeling like the calm after a storm, I’ve had a tough few weeks emotionally and looking back, there’s so much that I’m blessed to have. Today, I wanted to write about my friends, an aspect of my life I haven’t truly reflected on until only recently.
Continue reading “The Gift of a Friend”