Where do I even begin? I’ve been meaning to someday talk about this topic for a really long time, every few months from a different angle. I could start by talking about how just short of a few weeks ago, I was terrified because I thought my mom died in a church bombing. Or maybe I could write about the first time I felt like I was genuinely and completely part of a community. Perhaps I could dwell on how I easily surpassed my life long identity crisis by just understanding more about my beautiful culture and heritage. It does seem like we will have to drop by all these important milestones to get to the big picture so here it goes..
It’s turned into a norm to find posts or videos with someone writing a ‘letter’ to their younger selves with words of advice and narratives based on the experiences they had after their youth. It always for nostalgia and a look back at how far one has come from past difficulties that once consumed every single thing, all while inspiring and encouraging an audience. I can only imagine that if I had written a letter like that more than a year ago, it would have been rather harsh. I’ve spent most of my life being ridiculously hard on myself and my previous decisions that I thought a slight change of positvity was in order.
What a year, what a year. So much has happened with me in such a short time, both marvelous and dreadful. On the flight back home, lack of sleep made me end up staying awake, listening to Frank Sinatra and staring at a gorgeous scene of abundant stars. I think that’s when I realized that I had such a very lovely time all year round, it’s just easier to get sucked into your problems in the moment. You can never just have adventure without a few bumps that you learn from and to showcase this, here are my wins and fails of the past year:
A need of expressing myself and a small identity crisis with a hint of wanting my voice to reach others. One of the best decisions I’ve made to be honest. – Basant She, FAQs.
I begun my blogging journey for many, many reasons. I was a new university student studying abroad in an environment polar opposite to home. Even worse than that, I was genuinely bored. Bored of my comfortable surroundings. Bored of not having a channel of expression. After fully settling in and figuring out everything about this new environment, I noticed that I had nothing to work towards, like a high school club I was extremely passionate about. A bored state can be a dangerous thing but I actually believe this to be the aspect of my life at the time that caused me to want to pursue writing the most. My general disinterest to my surroundings brought me into a whole new world of writing. A little universe where I’m completely in control. A place I could bare my whole soul in writing.
I really savour writing about my travels on my blog, it’s like clasping a memory very tightly and having the ability to release it along with a sparkle of nostalgia whenever I please. That being said, I’ve been extremely sentimental recently about a specific trip I had about a year ago. At the end of March last year back in high school, several students with chaperons and I headed out to Dublin, Ireland to represent our school at a Model United Nations conference. It’s by far one of my favorite weeks ever and I constantly remember it with a smile. I just knew I was going to have a wonderful time in Ireland when I had an entire conversation with the Irish Customs Man and he said: “So, you’re going to solve the world’s problems, eh? You go girl!”
Blessings and Hilarity Ensue
My anxiety over the course of the last semester really had me clinging to my comfort zone in many ways. I spent most of it in my cozy room, happy with the constant peace. Shortly after, my serenity was put to a quick halt, causing me to realize I was using it as a shield and not experiencing enough of the world around me. It’s funny, I’m quite different than the person I was upon my arrival to Germany, it’s lovely how pushing yourself can really change everything.
I still recall a lost me wandering through a huge crowd outside my school back in kindergarten. As a tiny child, roaming through the school population was a pretty easy task at the time. After finding my neighbors in the large assembly point and heading home that day, school was canceled for the rest of the semester. Of course, back then I didn’t know the reason everyone was outside in panic, usually as a kid you go with the flow. The reason for this dismay was a bomb threat. Continue reading “Terror”