A Thank You to My Old Self

It’s turned into a norm to find posts or videos with someone writing a ‘letter’ to their younger selves with words of advice and narratives based on the experiences they had after their youth. It always for nostalgia and a look back at how far one has come from past difficulties that once consumed every single thing, all while inspiring and encouraging an audience. I can only imagine that if I had written a letter like that more than a year ago, it would have been rather harsh. I’ve spent most of my life being ridiculously hard on myself and my previous decisions that I thought a slight change of positvity was in order.

This is a really hard to write, it’s very difficult for me to flatter myself in general, writing an open letter of appreciation to myself is nothing but heavy on me. I am scared this will come of as me being excessively boastful and big-headed although that is not my intention at all. I simply hope this will all lead up to my ultimate goal, liking my decisions and self more. So, here it goes:

Dear Basant,

I am so thankful to you for doing everything you’ve done to this day. Though there have been times where you doubted yourself and your actions, you stuck it out with your head held up high.

Thank you for always maintaining a close curiosity to the world and your surroundings. You grew up in a pretty tame place with not much going on, but your imagination continuously ran wild with possibility and you were always scheming how you wanted the future to turn out. As I grow older, a piece of this persistently remains behind, lingering forever and further changing into aspiration. You always put up a brave front even though your anxiety gave you a hard time, you never let that fully take away from you experiencing what your mind wandered to.

However, you did not just dwell in your dreams, you worked with constant dedication to what you were passionate about at the time. You definitely performed much better than you gave yourself credit and looking back, plenty of the people around you appreciated it.

You’re also so very kind, always choosing to give people the benefit of the doubt automatically and without much thought of the matter. It’s amazing the amount of effort and energy you put into just thinking of others and putting them first. I don’t know how you also managed this but you somehow also didn’t pay much mind to what people perceived you as, you did what you were most comfortable with. I look at pictures of you, and remember how you had crocs of every bright color for every outfit imaginable, with a very embarrassed smile but a smile nonetheless. Your humor still has me in tears to this day with your memories and jokes.

I do believe that everything you once thought was unpleasant has lead up to the bigger picture that is now your present. I thank you so much for all your commitment, goodwill, and your hard working nature.

Love your past. What do you thank your younger self for?