“How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” – Winnie the Pooh
I’ve had the best feeling in the whole world for a while now. It’s really hard to put into words. It’s like I have so much happiness that it’s all going to burst out of my chest, it’s almost painful to contain. I think of this feeling like the calm after a storm, I’ve had a tough few weeks emotionally and looking back, there’s so much that I’m blessed to have. Today, I wanted to write about my friends, an aspect of my life I haven’t truly reflected on until only recently.
Truth is, back in the beginning of high school, I never felt like I had what some people would call a ‘squad’. Sure, I had friends but whenever they were laughing together or making plans, I felt like I was just an observer, almost like there was a glass case between us. This was actually the leading cause of my depression back then, I didn’t feel like I connected to anyone or that I belonged. All I did was cry over the fact that I wanted my friends to be exactly how I wanted them to be. Of course, it was silly but problems like these seem to be almost world destroying to a tiny fourteen year old.
Fast forward the day of my graduation, you’ll find a still pretty tiny Basant nearly crying during her graduation speech due to the sheer sadness of saying good bye to her classmates. Never thought I’d be saying this but through my pursuit of several passions like Model United Nations and Journalism, I found people who cared for the same things I did. Graduation kinda terrified me because of this, the prospect of losing people I love and came to dearly know scared me a lot.
Well, I started writing this in hopes of it being a nice and positive salute to the lovely individuals in my life and I don’t think I’m doing a good job. What I’m trying to say is although I never expected I’d find anyone who perfectly fit this exact cookie cutter definition of my ideal friendship, I did and in the best way possible. Over the years, I’ve learned to love people for who they are. I’ve learned unconditional love. I’ve learned that if I continue to imagine these ideal movie friendships I’d only be left disappointed. I gained far more than I thought just by changing my attitude and that was the gift of a friend.
Since then I’ve experienced some wonderful times with others. Ice-skating, playing in snow, loud singing with a ukulele, movie nights, adventure, dinners. Truly precious memories that I wouldn’t exchange for anything. My senior year and my first semester would have been insanely bland without the presence of the people I love, y’all know who you are <3. Friendship is a beautiful gift that I have come to appreciate immensely, it’s made me a better person everyday. Thank you.
To all those that have been reading my blog, whether you’re a new reader or a fan, thank you very much! I consider you an extremely important aspect of my life, almost like a friend, although I might not know you. I’d like to say: I hope you have a lovely day ahead of you!